some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
