he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
