So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
