the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
