Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
