I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
