yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
