She is in my trunk
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
