I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
is that a dick in a sweater?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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