Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
