Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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