More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
