After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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