i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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