Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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