When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
