Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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