She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it because I queefed?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
