Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
high people should be assigned attendants
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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