You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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