we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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