dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
