you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
