i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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