Nicole vs. Life
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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