I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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