Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the condom got lost in my hair
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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