Fuck appropriateness.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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