never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
