Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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