Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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