Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
