Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
