you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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