you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
