Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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