I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
