She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
