My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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