I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
