Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
