i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
