I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
