You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
