just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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