Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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