I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
