lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
