Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
