Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
