i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
